Control versus Curiosity

W

hen I stopped frantically hunting for my passport, took a breath, and reminded myself of the reality of my situation, something very interesting occurred for me emotionally.

I actually wondered if I would end up going to

France.

In other words, instead of being desperate to get to

France, I became curious about whether or not I would end up going to France.

The opposite of control is –

curiosity

.

When we give up false control, we open ourselves up to true curiosity.

This is the transition from religion (false control) to science (true curiosity).

When I honestly say:

“I would really like it if my friend liked my girlfriend, but I have no control over that outcome whatsoever,” the wonderful thing that happens is that I can now become

curious

about the outcome of the meeting.

Instead of saying:

“I must control what will happen!” I can say: “

I wonder what will happen?

”

This is a very different state of mind.

This is rational empiricism at its finest. Instead of saying: “Sacrificing this goat will control the rains!” we can say: “

I wonder why it rains?

”

Abandoning our illusions of control opens us up to the magnificent wonder of curiosity.

In my mind, when I say to my friend: “You

must

like my new girlfriend,” I am treating him as an object to be manipulated for the sake of

my

desires, rather than an independent conscious being.

When I say:

“I will control my friend,” the greatest lie is not that I think I can control him, but that I think I am treating him as a friend.