My Best Friend and My New Girlfriend

L

et us imagine that I am dating someone new, and I really want to introduce her to my best friend.

Obviously, I would prefer it if my best friend really liked my new girlfriend, since it would be far easier for me if I were able to spend stress-free time with both of them.

What options do I have to bring about this result?

I can certainly introduce my new girlfriend in the most positive light, and sing her praises, and show my friend that I am happier for having her in my life – which will all doubtless have some influence over the outcome –

but I cannot control directly whether or not my friend likes my new girlfriend

.

If I have in my mind an absolute:

“

He

must

like my new girlfriend!

” then I will have a very stressful time of it when they meet.

(It is certainly true that my stress will

lower

the likelihood that my friend will like my new girlfriend, but we shall come back to that in a little while.)

If we understand how we can most rationally and honestly deal with this meeting, we can begin to approach the question of the Real-Time Relationship

.

What is the most rational and honest

statement that I can make to myself about this upcoming meeting between my best friend and my girlfriend?

Clearly, it is:

“I would really like it if my friend liked my girlfriend, but I have no control over that outcome whatsoever.”

Can we all feel the sweet relief inherent in this statement?