The Adjustment Period

Some people call this the withdrawal period but withdrawal from what? Your body has never craved alcohol and never will. It has only ever wanted to get rid of the poison. The word ‘withdrawal’ itself can give the impression of trauma and a degree of pain. That is what a hangover is, the body doing its best to get rid of the poison for you. It is simply a way of keeping you alive. In truth the physical withdrawal is a good thing too as it is the body’s way of healing itself. First it throws out the poison in the gut and liver, then, as time goes on, it releases all the toxins collected from alcohol that it has stored out of harm’s way in its cells. It is purging the poison from your body and with it goes any remaining brainwashing from your mind. If you are a heavy drinker and your body shakes slightly after you stop, this is just a part of the process of eliminating the poison which happens incredibly quickly. If you see it for what it is you may even enjoy the process as it is evidence of your body healing itself. We now know that any physical aggravation after the first morning is very subtle and will be gone within ten days but for most people it is only three days. The mental adjustment lasts slightly longer but, in reality, can be the most enjoyable part of stopping drinking.

Let me explain. If you have a car for a few years and the indicators are on one side of the steering column and windscreen wipers on the other, isn’t it true that when

you buy another car they always seem to be on the opposite side? It’s sod’s law. What happens when you want to indicate? The windscreen wipers come on. Did you want to turn them on? No, you wanted to indicate. So why didn’t you? It is because your brain has been conditioned for so long that it does it automatically. It just needs a little while to adjust and this takes from one to three weeks. After that, things become even clearer. This happens when you are mentally and physically completely outside the trap.

Let me ask you a question. If you made the mistake of putting on your wipers instead of indicating, would you stare at the wipers and say to yourself, ‘Oh no, I can’t get the hang of this new car. I will never adjust. I must get my old car back’? Of course you wouldn’t. Would you even worry about it? Would you give it a second thought? The reality is that you laugh when you put the wipers on instead of the indicators and do it every ten minutes the first day. Does it bother you? Of course not. It simply comes down to the fact that you are not just hoping that your brain and body will adjust, you know for certain that they will. The knowing for certain has destroyed any doubt and that is why it doesn’t bother you in the slightest. That is how powerful a sense of certainty really is. That is why, after you finish your final drink, you will know it is over rather than hope that it might be over. Whether you find it easy or not depends on how you think.

You have been conditioned to take drink at certain times depending on just how far into the trap you are. It

can range from first thing in the morning to weekends, lunchtime, with dinner, when you come in from work, at celebrations or any other time. The point I am making is that, after you stop, you will still be coming home from work, still socialising, still eating (of course) and still waking up. That is why you need to understand that your brain and body will easily adjust, providing you let them and providing you don’t worry about it. Any triggers that may occur over the first few weeks work in exactly the same way as the wiper-indicator situation. These are times to feel relieved and excited.

Every now and then you may get ‘I want a drink’ thoughts. They are nothing to worry about and are only thoughts. We do not act on all our thoughts as, if we did, most of us would be in jail! It is just understanding these thoughts that makes the whole business of stopping easy, enjoyable and permanent. If you ever think you want a drink it doesn’t mean that something is going wrong; it is just the mental windscreen wipers flicking back to the old pattern for a split second. If you say to yourself ‘I mustn’t have one,’ ‘I can’t have one’ or ‘When will I be free?’ you will be defeating the whole object of the exercise and become a whinging ex-drinker . Just indicate, adjust, rejoice and move on. This is one of the most enjoyable aspects of stopping. These are the times when you can remind yourself that you don’t need to do that any more because you’re free. You can and will enjoy these moments if or when triggers occur over the first couple of weeks. This is adjustment and not willpower. Do not confuse them.

Willpower involves constantly fighting a desire to do something that you still want to do. If you allow yourself to think for one second that you are using willpower , you will start to doubt and where there is doubt there is uncertainty and where there is uncertainty there is always an element of willpower. Now this is really important. If you experience the trigger ‘I want a drink’ and you believe that the alcohol itself will benefit you in any way, then you have missed the point. You will switch on to willpower and be back in the pit in no time at all. If you experience the trigger ‘I want a drink’ and you know that there are genuinely no benefits, you will understand that it is simply a trigger that will be dismissed as quickly as you would turn off your wipers and put on the indicator. Will I have to do this all of my life? Of course not. You will retune yourself easily many times during the first couple of weeks and will love the process so much that it will become automatic. Using willpower is only necessary when you have to resist what you want.

See this adjustment for what it is. You are starving a disease to death. You are now in charge of something that was controlling you. That is exactly how I saw it. I had been feeding a disease that was controlling many aspects of my life because I was fooled into thinking that it was my friend. I thought it was helping me to enjoy life more and to cope with stress. When I realised that it always did the complete opposite and that it created the feelings of insecurity, I rejoiced in starving it to death. I did not use willpower, because I did not want

to feed it. I wanted it out of my life for good. If you see it like this you will love the adjustment period because what is there to feel miserable about? Nothing. The sad reality of any drug addiction is that it is the addict who has to use ongoing willpower, discipline and control and it can last for life. Once the nature of this drug is fully understood there is no need for willpower, discipline or control. You will finally be free from having to exercise control.

At the beginning of one of my consultations a man said, ‘It would be so nice if you could just put me a couple of weeks into the future, so that the worst is over.’ By the end of the session he wanted the adjustment period just so that he could witness the disease starving to death. He wanted to kill it as he wanted some revenge. He realised that the worst was already over and he didn’t need or want drink any more. As he put it, ‘What would be the point?’ Another common misconception is that if you are truly free from alcohol then you should no longer even think about drinking. This can also create doubt if not fully understood. So let me now cover the very important point which is that you will definitely …